Lately, I have become very fond of people who have mastered the sacred mantra 'No'.

Bonus points if they can remain kind and compassionate while reciting, and receiving a no.

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So, how do I discern my noes?

Did I use it to set my boundaries?
Did I use it to honor another commitment?
Did I use it to protect mine or someone else's physical, emotional, or material well-being?

Or

Did I use it as a pause before saying yes because I am unsure how I feel about it?
Did I use it because what was asked, triggered an emotional response that made me terrified of a possible recurrence of a past trauma?

Or

Did I use it to control someone's behavior?
Did I use it to protest or punish a previous slight or neglect, instead of  having a dialog and negotiating for our needs?
Did I use it to derive a sense of pleasure by inflicting pain on others?

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As much understanding and effort it takes to practice saying the right noes, double of that is needed to receive it with grace.

Because hearing no is hard.
Because we are taught that no is cruel.
Because it triggers the primal rejection of our very existence.

The good news is that when I practice being mindful of my own expressions of no, it gets easier to accept someone else’s.

In my practice, when I hear the word, it always starts with a deep breath. Then comes accepting and honoring this 'no' – and this is the mandatory part.

Then begins the process of understanding.

9 out of 10 times, it isn’t about me.

That one other time, doesn’t make me less worthy!

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It's is said that the universe begun with the primordial sound of 'ॐ'.

Gratitude, begins with 'No'.

May we all meditate on 'No'.

{breath in}  Noooo....
{breath in}  Noooo....
{breath in}  Noooo....

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(A version of this post is available on my Facebook page)